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23 September 2006 @ 05:30 pm
I just remembered another story from my sister. teehee.

Anyway background is that we were in the same grade in HS (due to her failing gr 2) and we also went to a Christian American highschool in Guatemala.

So its junior year and we are sitting together in chapel with some other friends, listening to some random speaker, i think it was about carbon dating or something. In his intro he was talking about great people, and he said something about Leonardo DaVinci.

My sister heard something totally different. She turns to me and my other friend, and says...

" Leonardo Davinci came to our school? "

Us, laughing: "Umm, he was dead before our school existed..."

" Oh, so Leonardo DiCaprio graduated from our school!?! "

And she said this loud enough that everyone around us heard.

22 September 2006 @ 02:41 pm
I have a bad habit of speeding. I also knew a lot of the cops in my town because I interned for them/attended Citizen's Police Academy (CPA)/went on ride-alongs.

I've a few stories that were pretty funny to me from getting pulled over by a few cops.

Cut for length... there's a few storiesCollapse )
20 September 2006 @ 03:10 pm
All the comments about Mac 'n' Cheese made me remember this fun little story. It might not make much sense, but hopefully I'll word it in a way that does.

Cut for lengthCollapse )
Current Mood: amusedamused
20 September 2006 @ 11:04 am
Let me just say up front that I respect a guy who has the courage to make the attempt to pick-up a woman (legitimate pick-up attempts, i.e. NOT yelling "Hey Baby! Yo' mamma let you DATE?!" out of a car window)
This respect, however, does not stop me from finding these incidents from my life to be absolutely hilarious.
These are my favorite three from my life so far:

cut for length and GYN topicsCollapse )
Current Location: Work
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: None
19 September 2006 @ 02:24 pm
So. Once upon a time (AKA now) I had this boyfriend, Kyle (str8gangsturr). Kyle's neighbor happens to be the ex-drummer from Three Dog Night, the band that made the song "Joy to the World," you know...that "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog" song.

So. Once upon a time, (AKA about four days ago) a few friends (Ashley, ridiculii and Dick, neojapan777) and I decided that it'd be a great idea to blast that song through the neighborhood. We load up into my car, (named Captain Pluto) and take off toward Kyle's neighborhood. We're having a jolly good time playing other hilarious songs (The Snakes on a Plane song, anyone?) and finally round the corner onto the right street. We frantically press the buttons on my stereo, trying to find "Joy to the World," and think it's not going to play in time. To the contrary, as soon as we pull up next to the drummer's house, the speakers BLAST out: "JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG! WAS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE!" and our windows are all down. We look over at the drummer's house and see a woman outside. As soon as she hears the music, she turns around and has this "...Oh no...!" look on her face. She turns back to look at a man standing a few yards away from her...it's HIM! It's the drummer! He has this look on his face as to say "...You little shits..." as in, he's grinning and shaking his head.

We drive away laughing hysterically, but not before making a roundabout and driving back. We come past his house again, this time the speakers blaring the second verse, "IF I WERE THE KING OF THE WORLD, TELL YOU WHAT I'D DO..." and he's still staring after us, shaking his head and grinning. He even gives us a little head nod, and off we ride into the sunset, laughing and yelling about how amazing we are. Ahhh...I bet he's never had any teenaged random strangers blast his one-hit wonder in front of his house before. We were so glad to be of service.

Haha. The end. *Bow*

OH! Not the end!
Okay, so MC Hammer happens to live in Tracy, a town right by our own. If you're out of the loop a little and don't already know, MC Hammer is now a preacher at a local church in Tracy. Of course, my friends and I are planning on attending a service on one of the upcoming weekends because, well, WHO DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR THE GOSPEL OF TEH HAMMER?!

I'll definitely update you once that happens.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Haha. "Joy to the World"--Three Dog Night
19 September 2006 @ 02:28 pm
Hahah, I think I'm going to fall in love with this community. (If I haven't already) I have the strangest group of friends (and we're all nerds, which makes us even stranger) so I get a lot of stories.

When I was in the 8th grade I told a group of my friends that I was bi. Later on that year one of my friends that I told kind of brought it up in front of another girl who was like "Oh my god, you are?!"

It's 5 years later, I'm talking to my best friend, KC, about who knows what and I mention "Yeah, I think everyone in high school thought I was a lesbian, not bi, because of that girl." She started laughing hysterically and when she calmed down I got to find out this fun little bit:

KC: "Yeah!! Actually, I heard that you were a lesbian and that you skipped gym to make out with girls in the locker room! I used to skip gym and hide out just to see if I could catch you doing it! I thought it was the best thing ever and I wanted you to be my friend and I wanted to make out with you in the locker room!!!"

Mind you, I was about the ONLY non-sports girl who NEVER skipped gym.
19 September 2006 @ 10:34 am
Ok, so I decided to share some of my sleep-talking stories.

Apparently, sleep-talking is genetic, because me, my dad, and my cousin all have episodes of sleep-talking and sleep-hitting. My dad was scared when he married my mom because he was afraid of hitting her. He used to wake up with bloody knuckles, because there were cinder blocks near his bed for some reason and he would punch them repeatedly during the night.

So, this one is actually something I commented to another story in Alittleawkward, which I guess might be considered our sister-community. My brother walked into my room for some reason, looking for something or another, and I sat up in bed and looked at him. I said "what's this table doing here?" He said "what table?" I shout "THIS TABLE!" as I SLAM my hand into the wall and fall back down into my bed.

Another time I was having this REALLY vivid dream about being mugged, I had my mom's ATM card and they were trying to make me withdraw cash from this kiosk ATM machine. I turned around, placed my hands on the counter and used it to do a kinda jump kick thing at one of their faces. As I jump up and kick, I wake up, as I wake up I am about a foot off of my bed directly up. You know how people get that falling feeling sometimes? Yeah, AS I woke up I gained that feeling because I felt as though I was suspended in mid-air with an outstretched foot trying to kick the ceiling.

A couple weeks ago I spent the night at my girlfriends dorm, and when I woke in the morning she asked me what I was trying to say last night, to which I had no reply. But apparently I was making weird clacking noises like tribal third-world country languages.

I hope I can continue to think of good stories for here :)
19 September 2006 @ 10:27 am
So, back in high school we used to know this kid named Renald. Renald was, in general, one weird kid. I'll just tell you about him and some of the things he did.

Every day, without failing, Renald would ask us if we watched Simpsons the night before. We always said no, but he never stopped asking. He would then tell us which episode of the Simpsons was on.

One day we began a conversation about Ron Jeremy, Renald didn't know who he was, so we said he was a gay porn star. Then we began calling Renald Ron Jeremy, and he would reply with "oh no, that's all you guys" Also, Renald is a very short, plump Indian fella.

Another day when Ron Jeremy was standing there talking on and on about the Simpsons, and RBJ had recently discovered the art of french fry tossing (maybe another story) RBJ decided to try and get a fry into Ron Jeremy's mouth. After two failed attempts, he lands one directly in his mouth. Ron Jeremy sits there, mouth open, for 3 seconds, pulls the fry out, drops it on the ground, and continues talking.

I LOVELOVELOVE this community, and I hope it takes off, so here's my part for the beginning. And a message to all, keep your eyes open for the legendary tale of BOTU, which will DEFINITELY come around on here :)
19 September 2006 @ 11:59 am
First post ever, hope you're proud! Tell me if this isnt the kind of story youre looking for.

My sister is an odd person. In that shes very airheady (dont get me wrong, smart when she needs to be), and she doesnt think before she speaks. Which always makes for a good laugh. Anyway this one was back in highschool, maybe 5 years ago now.

This guy 2 years younger was wearing a black shirt with NAVY written in white across it. My sister goes up to him, gives his shirt a quick look, and says...

"What does N-A-V-Y stand for?"

We all sort of stopped talking and stared at her for a bit, and she doesnt notice. Since no-ones saying anything, she stands there trying to figure it out, and asks,

"What does that mean? naaaavy. naavy. (read like savvy)"

At which point we all burst out laughing. Oh yes. fun times.
19 September 2006 @ 11:59 am
Well, in alittleawkward I posted a couple stories of my boyfriend sleeptalking. It seemed like people really enjoyed them, so I'll post what he did that night, after I'd already made the entry, as it was quite hilarious and has become a running joke among us.

We recently bought two games that we'd played when other people had them, but didn't own them ourselves. We don't have many multiplayer games, so that's what both of them were. One of the two games was Super Smash Bros Melee. And yes, that's important. ^_^

We'd been in bed for about half an hour. It normally takes me an hour or so to fall asleep. I thought he was still awake when he said this.


S: "...smells like Dr. Mario."
M: "What?"
S: "He smells like Dr. Mario."
M: "...What?"
S: "Well... You have to play him to unlock him, right?"
M: "....yeeeeaaaah."
S: "See? Dr. Mario smells like Dr. Mario!"
M: *laughs*
S: "Nevermind! #$@% it!"

I proceeded to apologize to him until I got a "You're mean" groan
and then was ignored. Around that time was when I finally figured out he was asleep, and upon telling him the next morning and his not remembering it I realized I was right.

Still. Quite funny.