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28 May 2007 @ 06:02 am
This community is in need of stories, so here's a really long one.  
This weekend has been AMAZING.

I spent Friday mozying around with Sir Dickolas, which was quite uneventful. Saturday, however, was packed with action. Getting to Michael's party, I found that Ashley and I both happened to be wearing Grindhouse shirts (mine, Planet Terror, and hers Deathproof). I also was told that I had been summoned. Whilst walking from Whitmore market on the way back to Michael's house with V-Jett, Michael, and some random kid, Veronica was hit in the vag with a water balloon. Raving mad at the hate crime and the laughter Michael mustered from it, she blew up at him and stormed off. I had to take her home, and soon realized that I must leave myself. I visited my grandma for a while, then V-Jett, Ashley, and myself ventured to Thomas's McDonalds in hopes of visiting him and possibly getting some free foods. Unfortunately, he wasn't working that night, but I had bigger things to worry about. I headed to Hughson to show Ashley and V-Jay this HORRIFYING spectacle of Big Brother-esque cameras in a suburb. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the neighborhood for the life of me. I did, however, find Hughson High School, which we were very curious to explore. I pulled up in a parking lot for the park next to the high school and we got out. Once in the premeses, we discovered that the entire school was fenced off. "That's a person!" Ashley exclaimed as she noticed a guy sitting on a bench in the park by himself. "Yeah, that is a person," I commented, and we kept walking. I began to worry about our safety and our lack of knowlege of the area, since Hughson is pretty much untouched territory. Veronica and Ashley went to go examine a fence, while I walked in the direction of the guy on the bench. He looked pretty young and vaguely harmless, so I said hi and asked him for help/protection. He obliged, and pointed us to fences we could easily slip between. After exploring the campus and finding nothing interesting in particular, we decided to leave. I asked the boy if he wanted to get into my car and have an adventure with us. He was hesitant, but agreed. We spent a great while off telling him stories, visiting friends' houses, and basically being obnoxious. We tried to get hold of Travis or Dick, but neither answered his phone. I made my way onto McHenry and soon found that I was pulling into the flower shop which leads to the dirt roads in the orchard which make way to the infamous haunted house. I've heard different stories about this house, but all come to the conclusion that the man who lived in it killed his chilren, his wife, and then himself. I parked about a quarter of a mile away in a dirt clearing, and we made our way down the dirt path toward the house. I served as the front of our little train, holding a flashlight, and tiptoed through the weeds up to the porch. The door of the house was open, and I walked inside. Patrick (the new guy) was behind me, and Ashley and V-Jett behind him. I shone the light all around the house and found that it seems as if whomever lived there completely thrashed the house and then abandoned it. There are possessions everywhere: books, dishes, electronics, (refrigerators, televisions, etc.) homework, trophies, pictures, furniture, and the list goes on. I picked up a particularly creepy picture of an owl in the frame, which is on the whole about as big as my hand. The house seemed like a small square from the outside, but once in it, you discover that it is much larger than it looks, with every room leading into another room seemingly without ceasing, and it had no hallway. After getting a bit creeped out and wanting more protection and light, we set off to go get Travis. I don't remember why, but we didn't get him but instead paid Mr. Chambers a small gift.
Veronica had to go home around 11:45, and on the way to drop her off, I turned a sharp right off of the Whitmore overpass and almost hit a pedestrian who barely skipped out of my way, as he was traveling in the middle of the road on his cell phone. Come to find out, the pedestrian was none other than my freshman (now a sophomore) whose name escapes me at the moment. I asked him if he wanted a ride home, and he accepted. So, with the car full of people, I made my way to drop V-Jett and the freshman off. After I did so, Ashley and I spent a good portion of the night telling Patrick stories (particularly the Chance Carrico ones). We got Starbucks and then some gas at the Oakdale USA station when we noticed that a man seemed to be under the impression that he was an octopus. He waved his arms about as if they were tentacles, skipped about, and to make things better, he was quite near losing his pants, as they were halfway between his buttocks and ankles. He might've been whooping or something--I'm unsure. Nevertheless, we parked near the Yogurt Mill and watched his antics while playing "Eye of the Tiger" and giggling, which kept us entertained for a good five minutes.
After a bit of lurking outside of Christopher Robin's trailer, we were let in and joined him, Matt, Matt's brother, and uhh...I don't remember the last guy. Matt's brother seemed to be irritated by us or something, but whatever. We sat around smoking hookah and listening to music and talking for a while. Christopher Robin also seemed irritable after a while, and it was then that I decided to leave.
We showed Patrick the Gates of Hell™ and the Forbidden Road™, then I dropped Ashley off and made to drop the new guy off. While heading toward Hughson, he told me of cultists which hide in the orchards by his house. Apparently, his father is an attourney, and got certain members of their cult 25 years to life for killing five people, and now they are bent on revenge and therefore he and some friends occasionally will catch them on his porch or in the orchards, watching them.
"Cultists?! I'm there!" I exclaimed after hearing this.
"You seriously want to go cultist hunting?" he asked.
"Fuck yes!"
So he gave me directions where to park, and we started to head into a particularly dark and creepy (peach?) orchard. If you've known me for even a reasonably short period of time, you will know that I'm a quite jumpy and wiry person. Once in the prospect of being in the presence of cultists who kill and stalk people, I became quite nervous and overly cautious. I took my squirt gun with me, y'know, just in case.
After walking aimlessly with Patrick through the orchard for a while, I heard what I thought was a distant scream. I let out a bark-like yelp and clawed Patrick's arm in panic. As it turns out, the sound was only the pressure of the air in my water gun. I spent a notably largish fraction of the time in the orchard and forest hiding behind Patrick or grabbing his arms. The dude is proficient in martial arts and has been in a knife fight--he is therefore the best candidate to protect me (not to mention the only other human being, in my knowledge anyway, around me). The snag here was that I don't know Patrick. I'd just met him hours ago in a park, and I was alone with him in an orchard. "Good going," I thought to myself, "Bitches get killed for shit like this--going into orchards with strangers at two o'clock in the morning." Nevertheless, there was nothing I could do about it at that point, and just decided to roll with the punches. He grabbed my hand and walked me through the orchard and gave me tips on what to do if we catch a cultist or two. Once we'd walked a decent length and hadn't found any, we headed toward some houses which were in construction and merely skeletons. He and I explored a first one, and then moved to a second one which was preferable since it was two stories and I felt like getting myself in some more possible danger (perhaps falling through an unsturdy floor). We climbed to the top of the stairs, found a bathtub frame, and sat on it and talked for quite some time. Things spanning from fights to the supernatural to death to relationships. I was afraid from certain comments and questions he posed that he might have some premature feelings for me, so I explained to him that I'm single on purpose, that I'm polycurious, and that I'm just naturally affectionate and not to think anything otherwise. I also explained that I was in a very serious relationship not long ago and had gotten my heart broken and wasn't looking to experience that again; he agreed that he was in the same boat. Mid-conversation, I heard a distant rustling and some voices. Still jumpy, I leapt to my feet and looked out one of the window frames to see nothing. He assured me that it was nothing, nevertheless, we left the house and took toward Hughson High.
We squeezed through a different fence this time and walked up a concrete slope to the little building...box...thing (what are those called?) atop the bleachers in the football feild. We stood under it for a while, talking, telling stories, playing ten fingers, and going "OMG" at black widows we spotted.
He kept getting in my personal space, which made me nervous, but I didn't do much about it. Don't ask me how, (and Ashley, you keep any and all comments about this to yourself) but he wound up like...holding me really tightly. I didn't object since it was fucking cold and he's not a bad-looking bloke (despite being a daywalker). I told him once again that there's nothing much I could do if he liked me, and that I won't commit, I won't get too attached, and that he needed to know that early, since I currently have an issue in my life with guys getting too attached to me too easily. He shrugged and told me that it was alright and that he wouldn't take things too much to heart. This next part is so hard to type, but if I'm already this deep into the story, I might as well. He pulled my face up by the chin and kissed me. I pulled away and was silent for a little while. He asked me if I regretted it, and I shrugged and said no. He did it again, and again, I pulled away and was silent. The sun started to rise soon after that, and I told him that I should probably go home. He walked me to my car, we said goodbye, and I drove home. So yeah. I kissed someone I just met...so I guess I can scratch that off my list of things to do before I die.

* * * * *

I woke up today, visited my grandma, read some Harry Potter, and was generally lazing about, when Ashley called me, reminding me of the adventure we were supposed to have today examining the haunted house further. I showered, called Travis who didn't feel like going, and then called Dick who was up for it. We picked Dick up after a while and took off toward McHenry. Once there, we noticed a limousine several yards ahead of us in the suicide lane. A woman was hanging out of it and flashes of cameras were going off inside of the vehicle. Ashley, Dick and I smiled as we knew that, as a general rule, people in limos tend to be obnoxious and therefore entertaining. We were not aware of the treat we were in for, however. Upon pulling up next to the limo, we were immediately flashed by a quite nice-looking female ass in a purple thong. We clapped and whooped and grinned as they pulled behind us. I slowed down and attempted to keep neck-and-neck with them for a while until finally succeeding. Suddenly, something is shouted at me in very off-key and slurred words which sounded something like "Peaaahh lkaaa ROCKSTAR!" as she flashed the devil horns at us.
"Oh shit," we said to each other, as we saw the opportunity in front of us. Immediately, all three of us started making the international sign-language motion for "Show-Us-Your-Titties!"
Oh yeah. She TOTALLY obliged. Not once, not twice, not even three--but FOUR times. She had lovely mammaries, and seemed to want to show them to us in varying poses and positions. After doing so, she returned to the limo and was last seen making out with some guy in the back with her.
Soon we were coming up on the flower shop again. I pulled in the parking lot and again parked in the clearing down the dirt path. We couldn't find my Jerk-Off Light™ and so had to settle for Travis' keychain flashlight which he'd left in my car some weeks before. Dick flustered some ducks in the nearby canal, which in turn scared the bejeezus out of me since it was an unexpected noise in the dark, causing me to once again let out a barklike yelp. After recovering, I walked with the other two and finally we reached the house. Again, I led the way, holding the flashlight. We stepped into the first room, this time paying more attention to the possessions scattered around us. We soon pulled into the second room and were sweeping the light around when I heard something. "SHUT UP," I yelled, and the sound of Dick and Ashley's footsteps halted. After a few seconds, they heard it too--there was some chatter as if a radio was playing in the distance, and then there were these...monstrous, inhuman screams which sounded as if they were coming from some point in the orchards straight ahead of us, which we could see out the broken window.
"Let's get out of here!" I urged.
"YEAH!" agreed Ashley.
We pivoted around, which brought Dick to the lead, as I passed him the flashlight. We hurredly left the building, and I ran through the weeds and down the path to the bend, crouched and waited for the other two. Once they came up on me, we power walked to the car and decided that next time, we'd bring more people, more lights, and some weapons.
After this, we got some gas, and headed to Ceres, where we pulled up to Andy's house and whisper-yelled at his open window. Strangely enough, he heard us and sneaked out of his room by dislocating his screen and hopping out.
Once in the car, he graced us with his cute little wing-framed, rosy-cheeked, smiley-eyed face. Ashley and I bought a cigar for Dick in Riverbank (and thusly had a little chitchat with the cashier of the convenience store who was an odd little old foreign man). We pulled a few antics which I expect will be discovered by the recipient a few hours from now, and headed toward Downtown. I reached J-street hoping to get to ninth when we found that there were TONS of people out. It was about two-thirty in the morning on a Sunday, yet it seemed that there were at least a hundred people crowded on the street corners. Curious, we looked around, and it seemed that all of these people had either been in bars or clubs, and a few fights were breaking out. We watched, entertained, for a few minutes until we were forced by a green light to leave. I turned around the block for a second look and came back on the scene to find frightened girls dressed as Playboy bunnies skidaddling down the street away from the scene, along with a few stragglers. The fight had been escalating at this point, I suppose, and there was a near-riot of chaos in the streets. I was stuck going zero miles per hour, as I was blocked by people who seemed not to notice that a car was trying to get down the street. I didn't mind, however, since this gave me a good excuse to watch the scene playing out. Some large bald man had his shirt off and was clearly aggressive, as his girlfriend tried to calm him down. Others were goading him, and security guards were standing around with "I don't know what the fuck to do" faces. People were shouting, people were laughing, and almost all of them were in the street without a care. The four of us watched from my car with confused and delighted faces. After about ten minutes, things seemed to calm down and the security guards finally noticed our presence, and reacted by clearing a path for me and telling me to honk my horn to get people to move. I lurched forward, still watching the people like it was a panoramic ride at an amusement park. Shortly afterward, I saw flashing lights behind me which signified the police. "Twenty minutes later!" exclaimed a sarcastic bystander, quite summing up the respectability, agility, and effectiveness of the Modesto Police Department (who we saw only blocks away from the madness). As soon as we saw the police, we decided it was time to bounce, and I sped off with us yelling "PEACE, bitches!" and laughing at the people caught in the throng. We laughed almost the whole way home. I dropped Ashley off, then Andy, then Dick, and went home myself.

Quite an entertaining weekend, if you ask me. All I have to say about all this is: What the FUCK, Modesto?! I mean seriously--what the FUCK?!


x-posted to my own lj.


EDIT: This entry was originally written for my lj, and seeing as I wrote it at a ridiculous hour in the morning, I didn't feel like editing all the non-lol parts out of it. Also, this place is dry as a bone and needed some kind of content. You don't like it? Tough. Don't go leaving stupid anonymous comments. I'm the creator and moderator of this community and can therefore post what the fuck I want. Cunt.

Anyhow, I love the rest of you.
 
 
Current Location: home
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: The Unicorns--"Jellybones"
 
 
 
Rootziela_rootz on May 28th, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)
haha
Seems like a fun two days....

Kissing strangers? Ive done it before. And knowing them only 5 minutes! i thikn your a step up.

lol @ jerk-off flashlight! If we are talkign about the same thing, my ex had one of those in his car... and i would shake it about and he would make fun of me... haha!
The Artist Formerly Known as Stixy: Cherry Darlingxvampiratex on May 28th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Re: haha
I lovvvvve the jerk-off light. It's saved my life on several occasions.
Rootziela_rootz on May 28th, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
Re: haha
niiiice. never saved my life but was cause for some amusement.

anyway just commenting on those other comments...

I thought your day was quite interesting and i did get a few laughs out of it :) Either way your right noone has had any stories as of late :( it sucks cos i used to get such a laugh out of it. Anyway ill try to remember funny things and post as they come to me...:)
The Artist Formerly Known as Stixy: absinthexvampiratex on May 29th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
Re: haha
You're a doll!

:]